Normally, I’m in favor of holidays that involve candy, but like most men, I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s a day where women expect us to shower them with affection and gifts for no apparent reason. How is that different than every other day of the year? That said, I may just have to buy some Valentine’s Day candy this year at Think Geek. I’m not sure if my wife would appreciate a tin of Bittersweets or not though. She would, however, like their caffeine candy and their chocolate avatars.
When you care enough to send the very worst…
There have been much poetry and many songs written about the tender topic of love. For quite some time, the pinnacle of amorous written expression has been the candy heart. With concise messages of affection, candy hearts rule. Sometimes, though, people suck, love hurts, and all the candy hearts in the world cannot make it better. But why make it better? Why not make it as bad as it can get? For the lonely, the miserable, and melancholy, we give you Bittersweets.
Delicious Heartache
Bittersweets are Despair, Inc.’s answer to the candy heart. They are candy and they are heart-shaped, but gone are the messages of affection. Instead, you’ll get messages of sadness, aloneness, and, well, despair. They are available in three unique collections: Dejected, Dysfunctional, and Dumped. Each collection features up to 37 unique sayings each and come in an attractive and reusable tin! Here are some examples:
Dejected sayings include:
I MISS MY EX | PEAKED AT 17 | MAIL ORDER | TABLE FOR 1 | I CRY ON Q | U C MY BLOG? | LOSS LEADER | A FINE WHINE | MOMMY ISSUES | DIGNITY FREE | DORK MAGNET | PURE NAUSEA | WE HAD PLANS | MAIL ORDER | SETTLE 4LESS | I’M HOT INSIDE
Dysfunctional sayings include:
ANNULMENT | I BEEN CREEPIN | HE CAN LISTEN | GAME ON TV | CALL A 900# | P.S. I LUV ME | DO MY DISHES | BOOTY INFL8N | PAROLE IS UP! | AWFUL INLAWS | SUB PRIME | I WANT HALF | RETURN 2 PIT | NO FIX 4 DUMB | RATHER DRINK | MUTUAL DISGUST
Dumped sayings include:
I GOT SOBER | HE FIT U FAT | U LEFT SEATUP | USED U 4 FUN | JUST A FRIEND | BACK 2 KENNEL | DORKA PHOBIC | U HAVE A BLOG | RUSSIAN BRIDE | CELEB8 THX2U | DOG IS CUTER | TRADIN YOU IN | FORGET WE MET | KISS A FROG | SHE IS 22! | HE HAS A JOB